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print thisAFTER DARK
Roxanne's the main event on theme nights
BY GABE BERMAN
seize18@aol.com
Remember Skolnick and Gilbert from Revenge of the Nerds? While sitting at a bar, I feel like I'm a combination of these guys. I don't sport the pocket protector or the eyeglasses held together with masking tape, but when I unveil my memo pad and pen, I'm well aware of the ''nerd-alert'' going off in my general vicinity.
However, at Roxanne's on Main, just the opposite was the case. Patrons, outfitted in threads showcased in trendy, retro stores, glanced at me in awe from time to time, as if I was Jim Morrison working out lyrics to Riders on the Storm. I admit I must have looked relatively cool sitting outside on the patio. Foot-long red candles illuminated my table and extreme decibels of grunge rock surrounded me.
Roxanne's On Main is located at -- wait . . . I cannot . . . resist its power . . . I must obey . . . and . . . sing . . . Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light. Raaaax-anne! You didn't actually think I was going to get through this entire column without belting out that classic Police tune, did you?
As I was saying, Roxanne's On Main is at 3148 NE 12th Ave. on the northeast corner of Oakland Park Boulevard and Dixie Highway in Oakland Park -- the former home of Flamingos, which was a cute little nightclub. It had pink walls, served tropical drinks and played poppy music. From the outside, the only noticeable difference was the name change.
Once inside, I was enveloped in eerie darkness and a song that overflowed with thrashing guitars. Black light and rows of candles barely illuminated the bar and I was forced to stretch my voice so the bartender could understand me.
This after-dark venue is closed on Mondays but reopens on Tuesday to host a ''sleazy'' gay night. Sleazy is one of the owner's words and he promises to deliver with ridiculously cheap beer, corn dogs and risqué videos shown on TV. Even though this bar is gay-owned, the owners refuse to label Roxanne's. They cater to a mixed crowd and all who appreciate loud music are welcome.
Wednesdays are reserved for an interactive karaoke night. It's interactive because while a person has the microphone, the crowd razzes them while covering them with silly string. Sing, or better yet, slur along with your favorite tunes. Similar to many karaoke nights, performances are alcohol-induced but at Roxanne's, shots are sucked down with a fervent frequency.
Starting next week, swing to the Ring of Fire rockabilly party on Thursday nights. Spaghetti westerns will be shown on TV and Slip and the Spin Outs takes the stage for the inaugural soirée.
A club promoter assured that a progressive crowd would show up for the Phoenix Indie Rock Night on Fridays. I nodded and portrayed enthusiasm even though I had, and still have, absolutely no idea what Phoenix is. If you do, or are simply a fan of the indie scene, I'm sure it's worth checking out. But not tonight because the Depeche Mode tribute band, Area 51, plugs in and brings you back to those depressing high school days from 8 to 11 p.m. There's a $5 cover; $3 Stella and Guinness pints.
On any given night at Roxanne's, you'll bump into exactly the type of people you'd expect to find. Tattoos and piercings are par for the course but so are unassuming, Jim Morrison types, like myself.
On the patio, you'll see red and white candles, candelabras, flashing disco balls, couches, a pool table and metal wire furniture circling a wood burning hearth. Inside, you'll find a thin oval bar, a raised DJ booth, and a wall of mirrors, a dart board, a Foosball table and a jukebox.
Since I'm an infant and need to eat every two hours, I headed across the street to the Peter Pan Diner as soon as Roxanne's On Main closed its doors at 3 a.m. (3 a.m. on weekends, 2 a.m. weekdays). Peter Pan's lounge remains caught in an '80s time warp. When I poked my head inside, an REO Speedwagon song proudly pumped from the jukebox. I would have stayed for a drink if it were Sting's Roxanne.
ON THE HORIZON
• Wu-Tang Clan with Bizarre Royal at 9 tonight at Revolution, 200 W. Broward Blvd., Fort Lauderdale; 954-727-0950; $32; www.join therevolution.net for more details. Come back Saturday to party with DJ Mike Sharpe; 21-plus; doors open at 10 p.m.
• Follow up good times at the Riverwalk Blues & Music Festival and stop by the Downtowner Saloon from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. tonight to hear Juanita Dixon; the Downtowner is on the south side of the New River, 408 S. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale; 954-463-9800.
• Join famed jazz pianist Phil Markowitz for two nights at Alligator Alley Native Florida Restaurant & Music Hall, 1321 E. Commercial Blvd., Oakland Park; 954-771-2220. Expect Markowitz and his band in an ''electric jazz funk fusion mode.'' Catch him at 10 tonight (cover TBA) and 9 p.m. Saturday ($10 cover).
• Aren't you curious about a performer named Stinky Malone? Stop by Saturday at Murphy's Law at Seminole Paradise, just off U.S. 441 north of Stirling Road, near Hollywood.
• No Use For A Name, Suicide Machine, I Am The Avalanche, Versus The World play Wednesday at the Culture Room, 3045 N Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale; 7 p.m.; 954-564-1074; $14.88.
Gabe Berman will answer questions about Broward nightlife. Go to MiamiHerald.comentertainment and click on Nightlife.
