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St. Paul Pioneer Press | 03/13/2006 | PUNCH LINES
Sunday, Mar 19, 2006
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Posted on Mon, Mar. 13, 2006

PUNCH LINES

Here is one of University of Minnesota assistant head football coach Mitch Browning's favorite jokes:

After the Gophers-Penn State game, a group of animals and insects decided to play football. For some reason, the sides were divided this way: All the big animals — the bears, the elephants, the giraffes — were on one side. Rabbits, squirrels and insects were on the other team.

The score at the end of the first half was 120-0. The small animals and insects hadn't made a single tackle.

When the second half started, the bear took the kickoff on the 45-yard line and was tackled on the 47. On first down, the elephant went up the middle and was dropped for no gain. On the next play, the giraffe tried to run around end, but was tackled for a 1-yard loss.

The giraffe looked down at the bottom of the pile and saw a centipede. The giraffe looked at the centipede and said, "Did you tackle me? This is the first time I've been tackled all day."

The centipede replied, "Yep, I tackled you. I tackled the elephant, and I tackled the bear. I'm 3 for 3 this half."

The giraffe said, "Where were you in the first half? Your team didn't make a single tackle."

The centipede replied, "I was getting my ankles taped."