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More power to her elbow
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Going Long On Pete
Date :
29.08.2006
“I ASKED him if it was heavy to carry about - and he said, ‘A little bit’. I’ve never seen anything so enormous.”
Elbow-skinned-face double Big Brother loser Nikki is telling the world about how she and Pete Bennett have been enjoying each other’s company, and how big Pete’s penis is.
That this revelation should appear in the Sun, a family newspaper, is an oddity. But the parameters of decency are fluid and tomorrow we can look forward to reading about the size of Nikki’s vagina as we eat our breakfast cereals and toast.
Nikki may well serve up this gem of vital information herself. Nikki is the girl who discovered her deep and true love for Pete after being evicted from the Big Brother house for the first time.
As she dreamed of fame and fortune, and read newspaper articles about how Pete was a shoo-in for the £100,000 first prize and much more, she knew she was destined to be with Pete.
And now together, Pete is no longer just Big Brother winner Pete, he’s Pete of Pete & Nikki fame. And he’s here to tell us about that first night together outside the house.
“We went to my hotel room. It was great,” says Pete. Indeed, what with the mini bar and trouser press, after being cooped up in the BB compound for 13 weeks, it must have been dreamy.
He continues: “I think she was paranoid that when I came out of the house I wouldn’t like her, and that I only needed a cuddle when I was in the house.”
But former “vice girl” Nikki need not have worried. With a camera crew egging them on and showbiz magazines keen to bring their readers a story of reality love and a penis, Pete made his move.
“So we kissed and cuddled all night, says he. “We lay there for ages. But it was more passionate than kissing...It was intense.”
And it went on for as long as, well... As long as Pete’s penis...
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Propeller